So tonight’s the big night. The night when the movies of 2012 that we all stood in line to see are completely ignored and a handful of old guys pick random movies to throw awards at. The Academy Awards. The Oscars. The award show that gave Shakespeare in Love the Best Picture award over Saving Private Ryan (and no; I won’t let it go ‘man’).

Not to be undone, we here at iGR have taken the liberty of doing what we do best; predicting the future. So without further ado, I give you my predictions for this year’s winners (in the categories we care about). I guarantee it will take less time than the show itself.

The Music

Best Original Score

And the winner is…John Williams’ Lincoln will probably grab the statue here. Lincoln is expected to clean house tonight. It’s the exact kind of movie the Academy likes; overtly political, slightly controversial, and good. Make no mistake; John Williams deserves a win. He’s been snubbed enough times to get a freebie. Mix that with a score that is good and we have a winner.

…But should have been…Thomas Newman’s Skyfall soundtrack was probably one of the best scores of the year, and certainly the best nominated. It includes everything a score should; a great sense of drama, action pieces that are fun to listen to, haunting melodies that draw you in, and classic reminders that make you feel young. Yet even the best preforming Bond film to date will probably not see much love tonight. Also, the Academy likes new, so the scores focal Bond theme will probably alienate some voters.

…Because who really got snubbed was…Hans Zimmer’s Dark Knight Rises score was hands down the best score of the year. From the haunting chants of the mob to the edgy horn harmonies and the inclusion of the Dark Knight’s theme, this is one piece of work that will stick with you. After years of writing great music for the Batman series, the least the Academy could have done was given a nod with a nomination. If you haven’t already bought this album, put it on the top of your list.

Best Original Song

And the winner is…Skyfall by Adele has once again proven that Adele has the brass to bring it, no matter what she’s handed. Her smooth vocals and smart lyrics are a much welcomed change from the days of Madonna’s Die Another Day.

…But should have been…No one. Adele isn’t just the front runner in this category, she’s really the only runner. If you don’t believe me, listen to the other nominees. The closest runner up would probably be Suddenly from Les Miserables.

…Because who really got snubbed was…Anne Hathaway singing I Dreamed a Dream from Les Miserables. Yes, yes, I know; it’s not an ‘Original Song,’ but Suddenly isn’t either. While you either agree or disagree when I say that the film was Les Misreable to watch (English, not French), Hathaway’s performance is the song’s new epitome.

The Acting

Best Actor

And the winner is…Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln because, like I said, this film will probably clean house. At the same time, DDL’s ability to become completely anamorphic to fit any role he plays deserves a win here. Lincoln is not someone who can be portrayed by just anyone (reference Benjamin Walker in Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter). The grit and emotion Lewis brings to the table is more than just a façade; it’s palatable.

…But should have been…I want to say Bradley Cooper from Silver Linings Playbook, but I have to acknowledge Lewis here again. While Cooper has some great moments on screen, some even cringe worthy (in a fun way), his performance can’t be compared to the raw power that Daniel Day Lewis drains into Lincoln. If Cooper were to win, it would me more a nod to the actor’s versatility rather than his single performance.

…Because who really got snubbed was…Joseph Gordon-Levitt on everything. Come on, guys! JGL has crawled out of the sinkhole of Third Rock from the Sun like Bruce Wayne in TDKR. While it still may be too early to acknowledge the accomplishments of the rather young actor, his acting ability continues to grow on a logarithmic scale. The research he did for Looper alone should have nabbed him a nomination. Alas, I think I’ll just have to wait for Levitt’s day in the spotlight. (I’m taking credit for calling it first when it happens.)

Best Actress

And the winner is…Naomi Watts performance in The Impossible might just be enough to finally earn credit where credit is due. Watts has been in enough win-worthy roles to fill a movie shelf, but always seems to come in second place. I really believe that he Academy is looking for a way to reward Watts this year. This nomination is a chance to reward a great actress for her career rather than her less than stellar performance in the otherwise gripping biotic.

…But should have been…Jessica Chastain was just the best actress in Zero Dark Thirty; her performance was the best acting of the year. Chastain’s performance was hands down the best acting I saw all year, male or female. I saw a lot of movies this last year, and even Anne Hathaway’s desperate attempt to grab the spotlight in Les Mis was nothing compared to Chastain.

…Because who really got snubbed was…JESSICA CHASTAIN IF SHE DOESN’T WIN!

The Foreign Films

Best Foreign Film

No one cares.

The Directors

And the winner is…Ang Lee’s rendition of Life of Pi was not my favorite movie of the year by far. I felt that the adaptation from the book was weak, the acting was forced, and the effects were goofy. However, I’m not the person handing out the awards here and to be fair, the direction of the film simply can’t be ignored, regardless of my personal opinion. This film will probably take home the gold simple because it deserves it.

…But should have been…Steven Spielberg’s Lincoln is probably one of the best Civil War movies since Gone with the Wind. There is a grit to the movie that that hasn’t been captured in decades unlike its campy or reenactment fellow films like Glory, Gods and Generals, Gettysburg, et cetera. The risk alone of making a movie about Abraham Lincoln deserves a prize. After all, this is a person who is possibly one of our nation’s most controversial and loved leaders. Likewise, this film is something that only Spielberg could pull off. In the end, he doesn’t just manage to pull it off; he delivers just like he’s done time after time after time.

…Because who really got snubbed was…Christopher Nolan’s latest installment in The Dark Knight Trilogy is not everyone’s favorite, but certainly proved that on his worst day, Nolan is a better director than almost everyone else in Hollywood. Nolan has the potential to be the greatest director of our generation. With the Academy’s inclination to throw awards at films because their directors/writers/ actors have done great work in the past (See Lord of the Rings: Return of the King), I think it’s time the Academy threw Nolan a bone.

Two other great choices here would have been Ben Affleck for Argo and Kathryn Bigelow. The Academy needs to get over themselves and recognize that Affleck is an amazing director…just not that great as an actor. It also need to worry more about movies and less about making political statements.

All in all, the nominations in this category were some of the most disappointing.

The Movies

Best Picture

And the winner is…I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again; Lincoln is my bet to sweep the awards this year. All the things that should earn Spielberg the Best Director award should come full circle and earn Lincoln the top prize. Gritty, emotional, grandiose, controversial, and political; this film has all the ingredients that the Academy loves when it hands out awards.

…But should have been…Zero Dark Thirty has all the same ingredients. To compound matters, Kathryn Bigelow proves she can deliver time and time again. Zero Dark Thirty was an amazing film. It easily stands shoulders above its predecessor, The Hurt Locker’s pacing and raw emotional power. At the same time, this film might be too controversial for the Academy to touch.

…Because who really got snubbed was…Skyfall. If ever there were a year for a Bond film to grab the big one, this is it. It’s disappointing to not even see a nomination.

Well there you have it folks. I’m sure someone will be agitated to see me leave off their favorite category. To this I say that I wish everyone nominated the best of luck. Also, my fingers already hurt and I’m sure you’d rather read an article than a dissertation. And I’ve got to get some sleep guys. Otherwise there will be no amount of caffeine to keep me awake through five hours of Seth MacFarlane jokes.

Author: Jimmy Sharp